I know I haven't updated in awhile. Things have been pretty hectic. Seems like Isla and I haven't been spending much of our days at home. I don't see myself getting out of my monkey pants today though (unless she spits up all over them). P's been coughing for a week and it seems to have attacked me last night. GGGGRRR. Need to find out if there's anything I can take since I'm still breastfeeding.
Isla's been the little traveller--she's been to two new states (Illinois and Kentucky) and yesterday she took Grandma and I to St. Louis to pick up Daddy's new car. After we got back last night I went to the local Honda dealership and traded my Toyota for a CR-V.
Isla had a really good weight check last week--she'd gained 12 ounces in a week and was 8 pounds 3 ounces at the doctor's office. Unfortunately the cereal the doctor had us add to her formula for reflux seemed to making her really strain to have a bowel movement. We got back on the cereal and she's not straining but she's also back to not wanting to eat as much as she should. I weighed her last night and she hasn't gained anything in the 5 days since she was at the doctor's office. We're going to give her more cereal again--hopefully a more gradual increase will be easier on her. If she's still straining I'll ask the doctor what we can do about that.
I think Isla's trying to wake up. Hopefully she'll take another bottle and go back to sleep a bit so I can too.
Hopefully I'll update more in a day or so. I've been playing with our new camcorder and need to learn how to transfer video to the computer.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
One month!
I can't believe Isla is a month old already! Here are her pictures with Winston...
And on the scale... She's finally gained her birth weight back and making some progress upwards...
And her closet door that her cousin R painted for her...
And on the scale... She's finally gained her birth weight back and making some progress upwards...
And her closet door that her cousin R painted for her...
Monday, February 8, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
BF Update....
I guess what I've given up on is the practice of "triple feeding." I think the ritual of BF, bottle, pump is a large part of what broke me. I talked with the LC today and let her know I'm worn down and am going to meet with her Monday. Since then I've decided I'm not ready to totally give up on breast milk or even breast feeding. But I do have to break from the stress of triple feeding. I didn't even know that's what its called until I read the chapter on challenges breast feeding in my book this morning. There's a little blurb in the back about the practice and it describes it as "an enormous commitment of time and effort." Reading this made me feel like less of a wimp. I knew its a PITA but at least I now know that most people see it as a PITA! I feel relieved about this decision. And Isla and I had probably our best breast feeding session this morning. This evening I pumped and she inhaled the bounty. Maybe if I can feed/pump a set number of times a day I can have a schedule for me even before she's ready for a schedule. (I need a schedule).
Ready to give up...
on breastfeeding. I probably wouldn't have tried it, but its so important to P that I agreed to. Plus I do know its better for babies. I started reading and although I was more worried about breastfeeding than the entire labor/delivery thing, I wanted to try it. I wanted to enjoy it and feel warm and fuzzy about it and feel like it was my and Isla's special bonding time. Maybe the worry that those things wouldn't happen were self-perpetuating. First it just didn't seem like she was getting milk even though the LCs said she was latched correctly and was sucking. Then I had to supplement with formula because of jaundice and we found out she'd lost more than 10% of her birth weight. Then she didn't gain her birth weight back by 2 weeks. Or 3 weeks. Herbal supplements didn't help with my suppy. Reglan does but I still don't seem to make enough milk. Some days I check Isla's pre and post feeding weights and the scale says she's not getting any milk from me--other days it says an ounce or an ounce and a half but I can never tell based on how it seems she's been feeding. There's milk in the nipple shield when she's nursing which suggests she's getting milk but the sheild has become so cumbersome.
So for the past few weeks, I've been breastfeeding, then giving her formula, then (most of the time) pumping to try to increase my supply. The hope was I'd eventually be able to exclusively breastfeed and the warm and fuzzy feelings about breastfeeding would kick in. Meanwhile I have the negative feelings of feeling like cattle with the baby attached to my boob all the time. PLUS the feelings of failure because I can't do this "right". I can't follow the Pediatric Associations' recommendations to exclusively breastfeed. Plus I think I blame the breastfeeding for her having lost so much weight and for her slow progress gaining it back. And I know that some breast milk is better than none, but I can't help but wonder how much she's getting (beyond the few ounces a day I know I pump) and whether or not that actually makes a difference in terms of the benefits of breastfeeding.
And I've felt like I have no choice in doing things this way. I know this is so important to P. Before Isla was born, I told him that among my other fears was that I wouldn't like it and I'd resent Isla for it. At that time I remember him saying that if it didn't work, it didn't work and we'd formula feed. But so many other times his reaction to the situation has been to suggest to pump and feed. I don't know how many times I've heard him say he doesn't care how she gets breast milk as long as she gets breast milk. I've read about what is involved in exclusively pumping and feeding--its recommended to pump every 2 hours around the clock. I can't. I just can't. And that's still not as effective as baby nursing in drawing out milk (which is already apparently a problem--hey, maybe the pump is more effective than my child).
Last night (or rather 3ish this morning), I broke. I was trying to get her to nurse. Trying to hold her, support my breast, hold her hands out of the way, and hold the nipple shield in place. And getting clawed in already sore nipples the whole time. I can't keep doing things this way. I feel like such a failure and worry that my fears about breast feeding have been what caused things to work out this way. P told me we can go to just formula feeding but I'm not sure that's what I want to do either but I am glad to have that option. He said he's told me before we can do that. He has, but so many more times I've heard "breast milk, breast milk, breast milk."
I don't think I'm ready to totally give up on breast milk but I am ready to give up the idea that at some point we can exclusively breast feed. I don't know if I'm ready to give up on feeding her myself or not. I'm going to keep pumping for the weekend and talk to the LC Monday (there's one on call for the weekend, but I know the one I've talked with the most is off this weekend and I think having the weekend away from the issue would be a good thing anyway). I think at this point I'm leaning toward the idea of pumping 3 or 4 times a day and using that to supplement formula but not trying to feed her from the breast anymore. I think I'm getting too frustrated with her doing that. I don't want that. One thing I want to talk to the LC about before just totally going that route is whether things might be different if we get her off the nipple shield. I've tried weaning her off it but haven't been successful. But maybe I need to explore that as a final option before giving up on doing more than pumping.
Meanwhile, Isla still wasn't up to birthweight yesterday--she was only an ounce shy though. Still at over 3 weeks, I'm worrying.
The rest of yesterday wasn't a great day either. On the way home from the doctor's office I realized I forgot to kennel Bumper when I left. Half the kitchen trash was in the kitchen floor. He dragged the other half into our bedroom and tore it up in there. Not sure what all he ate out of the trash but he puked on the (new!) carpet in our room too. Later last night Isla managed to spit up all over both of us. I caught her midpoop when I was changing her clothes and she managed to pee all over me when I changed that diaper. Then last night she ate at 9:30, 11:30, 1:30, 3:30, and at 6:30 this morning--just small feedings though. P's on call all weekend so I tried not to interrupt his sleep (other than when I lost it bawling at 3:30 this morning). Luckily he didn't have any pages or have to leave. Mom's coming over the morning to watch Isla for me to nap. Hopefully my eyelids will start getting heavy again in about 10 minutes and let me do just that.
So for the past few weeks, I've been breastfeeding, then giving her formula, then (most of the time) pumping to try to increase my supply. The hope was I'd eventually be able to exclusively breastfeed and the warm and fuzzy feelings about breastfeeding would kick in. Meanwhile I have the negative feelings of feeling like cattle with the baby attached to my boob all the time. PLUS the feelings of failure because I can't do this "right". I can't follow the Pediatric Associations' recommendations to exclusively breastfeed. Plus I think I blame the breastfeeding for her having lost so much weight and for her slow progress gaining it back. And I know that some breast milk is better than none, but I can't help but wonder how much she's getting (beyond the few ounces a day I know I pump) and whether or not that actually makes a difference in terms of the benefits of breastfeeding.
And I've felt like I have no choice in doing things this way. I know this is so important to P. Before Isla was born, I told him that among my other fears was that I wouldn't like it and I'd resent Isla for it. At that time I remember him saying that if it didn't work, it didn't work and we'd formula feed. But so many other times his reaction to the situation has been to suggest to pump and feed. I don't know how many times I've heard him say he doesn't care how she gets breast milk as long as she gets breast milk. I've read about what is involved in exclusively pumping and feeding--its recommended to pump every 2 hours around the clock. I can't. I just can't. And that's still not as effective as baby nursing in drawing out milk (which is already apparently a problem--hey, maybe the pump is more effective than my child).
Last night (or rather 3ish this morning), I broke. I was trying to get her to nurse. Trying to hold her, support my breast, hold her hands out of the way, and hold the nipple shield in place. And getting clawed in already sore nipples the whole time. I can't keep doing things this way. I feel like such a failure and worry that my fears about breast feeding have been what caused things to work out this way. P told me we can go to just formula feeding but I'm not sure that's what I want to do either but I am glad to have that option. He said he's told me before we can do that. He has, but so many more times I've heard "breast milk, breast milk, breast milk."
I don't think I'm ready to totally give up on breast milk but I am ready to give up the idea that at some point we can exclusively breast feed. I don't know if I'm ready to give up on feeding her myself or not. I'm going to keep pumping for the weekend and talk to the LC Monday (there's one on call for the weekend, but I know the one I've talked with the most is off this weekend and I think having the weekend away from the issue would be a good thing anyway). I think at this point I'm leaning toward the idea of pumping 3 or 4 times a day and using that to supplement formula but not trying to feed her from the breast anymore. I think I'm getting too frustrated with her doing that. I don't want that. One thing I want to talk to the LC about before just totally going that route is whether things might be different if we get her off the nipple shield. I've tried weaning her off it but haven't been successful. But maybe I need to explore that as a final option before giving up on doing more than pumping.
Meanwhile, Isla still wasn't up to birthweight yesterday--she was only an ounce shy though. Still at over 3 weeks, I'm worrying.
The rest of yesterday wasn't a great day either. On the way home from the doctor's office I realized I forgot to kennel Bumper when I left. Half the kitchen trash was in the kitchen floor. He dragged the other half into our bedroom and tore it up in there. Not sure what all he ate out of the trash but he puked on the (new!) carpet in our room too. Later last night Isla managed to spit up all over both of us. I caught her midpoop when I was changing her clothes and she managed to pee all over me when I changed that diaper. Then last night she ate at 9:30, 11:30, 1:30, 3:30, and at 6:30 this morning--just small feedings though. P's on call all weekend so I tried not to interrupt his sleep (other than when I lost it bawling at 3:30 this morning). Luckily he didn't have any pages or have to leave. Mom's coming over the morning to watch Isla for me to nap. Hopefully my eyelids will start getting heavy again in about 10 minutes and let me do just that.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Week 3....
Isla goes back to the doctor this afternoon to see if she's made it back to her birth weight. I think she has, but if she fills a diaper before we go she might not have. Its going to be close.
I have some more pictures to upload. Hopefully I can do that in the next day or two. Its hard to find time to do such things.
I'm still trying to breastfeed but have to supplement with formula. So she breastfeeds, then gets a bottle, then (most of the time) I try to pump. I'm pumping more than I was. It seems like she's BFing better than she was, but that's hard to tell. The eating process takes about an hour, sometimes longer if she's fussy when I'm trying to pump. She usually stays awake a little while after the process, then takes a cat nap and I have to wake her up at 3 hours (that's after its been 3 hours since she ate, not 3 hours of a nap!). At night we'll let her go 4 hours. P's been getting up for the midnight-1 am feeding--it usually takes about 30 minutes after she's done eating to get her back to sleep after that feeding. If there's BF in the fridge, she gets that then, otherwise she gets formula and mommy gets to sleep. I get up for the 4ish feeding and Isla and I go back to sleep about the time P goes to work. I think this is working better than when I was doing the first feeding and P was doing the second--he was having to just stay up and go to work which made for a tired boy. And it works much better than when I was trying to do both feedings! This weekend P's on call though so I don't want him trying to get up with her in case he ends up having to go to work too. I'm going to ask my mom if she can come over Saturday and Sunday mornings to let me get some rest.
Isla's been laying/propping up in her boppy pillow some. She loved the boppy when she was at the photographers last week (can't wait to see those proofs!) so we've been trying some here. We've laid on our play mat a little this week too, but its still a little early for that. She's really practicing holding her head up when she's laying on our chests and she's tracking better and starting to turn to voices. Mom insists she knows Grandma's voice.
Well, Buttercup is waking up from her cat nap. We have a little time to talk and play before we leave for the doctor's office. I'll write more and upload pics when I get a chance.
I have some more pictures to upload. Hopefully I can do that in the next day or two. Its hard to find time to do such things.
I'm still trying to breastfeed but have to supplement with formula. So she breastfeeds, then gets a bottle, then (most of the time) I try to pump. I'm pumping more than I was. It seems like she's BFing better than she was, but that's hard to tell. The eating process takes about an hour, sometimes longer if she's fussy when I'm trying to pump. She usually stays awake a little while after the process, then takes a cat nap and I have to wake her up at 3 hours (that's after its been 3 hours since she ate, not 3 hours of a nap!). At night we'll let her go 4 hours. P's been getting up for the midnight-1 am feeding--it usually takes about 30 minutes after she's done eating to get her back to sleep after that feeding. If there's BF in the fridge, she gets that then, otherwise she gets formula and mommy gets to sleep. I get up for the 4ish feeding and Isla and I go back to sleep about the time P goes to work. I think this is working better than when I was doing the first feeding and P was doing the second--he was having to just stay up and go to work which made for a tired boy. And it works much better than when I was trying to do both feedings! This weekend P's on call though so I don't want him trying to get up with her in case he ends up having to go to work too. I'm going to ask my mom if she can come over Saturday and Sunday mornings to let me get some rest.
Isla's been laying/propping up in her boppy pillow some. She loved the boppy when she was at the photographers last week (can't wait to see those proofs!) so we've been trying some here. We've laid on our play mat a little this week too, but its still a little early for that. She's really practicing holding her head up when she's laying on our chests and she's tracking better and starting to turn to voices. Mom insists she knows Grandma's voice.
Well, Buttercup is waking up from her cat nap. We have a little time to talk and play before we leave for the doctor's office. I'll write more and upload pics when I get a chance.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Grow baby, grow!
Isla had a good weight check yesterday. She's up to 6 pounds, 15 ounces. Not quite her birth weight of 7 pounds, 4 ounces, but a big improvement over the 6 pounds 7 ounces she was at her home health visit on the 15th and the 6 pounds 9 ounces she was at the doctor's office last week. The way she's been eating the past 2 days, there shouldn't be any problem with her getting back to birth weight before we go back to the doctor next Friday. Hopefully she can get there by Tuesday when she's 3 weeks old.
I can't believe how much she's changing. Every day it seems like she focuses a little better and tries to hold her head up a little more.
I have more to say, but Isla's requesting lunch so I'll be back later.
I can't believe how much she's changing. Every day it seems like she focuses a little better and tries to hold her head up a little more.
I have more to say, but Isla's requesting lunch so I'll be back later.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
High tech baby....
As of Friday we're cordless. Guess its the first of many of those obvious signs that Isla is growing and changing.
Isla went to church today and slept through the entire service. P said she was kicking her legs in her sleep during some of the music....I loved feeling her move when the music started while I was pregnant. What a great message today too--about how we want to live in our "mountaintop moments" but have to realize that we have to live in the valleys also.
She hadn't gained much weight when we went in for her check-up last week. I've been concerned about her weight since then and generally uncertain about how much she's eating, how much we're supposed to supplement and how much to pump so I called the LC at the hospital last night. These ladies are WONDERFUL! C said my questions were really good and the best thing to do to start with was to find out how much she is getting with she BFs so today we went to the hospital and weighed her, fed her, then weighed her again. The LC checked her latch, watched her suck, and thought everything looked good with the feeding process, but Isla only took in about 1/2 ounce. They sent me home with a scale to check her intake a couple times a day, we're going to keep giving her formula until I can get a supply pumped, and hopefully with pumping and some herbal supplements we can get my supply increased so that we'll be able to eventually cut out the formula and just supplement with pumped mommy juice.
Oh, we also found out today that her birth weight was probably 7 pounds 2 ounces instead of 7 pounds 4 ounces like we thought. I know 2 ounces isn't much but when considering the amount of weight she's lost, it seems significant. When they weighed her, they said 4 ounces but the kgs they recorded converts to the lesser measurement.
Getting a bit anxious about being home this week. Not sure why--limited adult contact? Feeling like I'm having my mom babysit us too much? Just uncertainties and hormones? I don't know. Maybe we'll go to the mall and walk around some this week or go to a matinee or something. Maybe I can at least find the time to update with more pictures.
Someone is waking up...about time for one last feeding before bedtime.
Isla went to church today and slept through the entire service. P said she was kicking her legs in her sleep during some of the music....I loved feeling her move when the music started while I was pregnant. What a great message today too--about how we want to live in our "mountaintop moments" but have to realize that we have to live in the valleys also.
She hadn't gained much weight when we went in for her check-up last week. I've been concerned about her weight since then and generally uncertain about how much she's eating, how much we're supposed to supplement and how much to pump so I called the LC at the hospital last night. These ladies are WONDERFUL! C said my questions were really good and the best thing to do to start with was to find out how much she is getting with she BFs so today we went to the hospital and weighed her, fed her, then weighed her again. The LC checked her latch, watched her suck, and thought everything looked good with the feeding process, but Isla only took in about 1/2 ounce. They sent me home with a scale to check her intake a couple times a day, we're going to keep giving her formula until I can get a supply pumped, and hopefully with pumping and some herbal supplements we can get my supply increased so that we'll be able to eventually cut out the formula and just supplement with pumped mommy juice.
Oh, we also found out today that her birth weight was probably 7 pounds 2 ounces instead of 7 pounds 4 ounces like we thought. I know 2 ounces isn't much but when considering the amount of weight she's lost, it seems significant. When they weighed her, they said 4 ounces but the kgs they recorded converts to the lesser measurement.
Getting a bit anxious about being home this week. Not sure why--limited adult contact? Feeling like I'm having my mom babysit us too much? Just uncertainties and hormones? I don't know. Maybe we'll go to the mall and walk around some this week or go to a matinee or something. Maybe I can at least find the time to update with more pictures.
Someone is waking up...about time for one last feeding before bedtime.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Our little glow bug....
Friday morning we had our home health visit and discovered Isla's bilirubin was high. We started supplementing her feedings with formula but her level increased when we checked it again Saturday. Saturday afternoon a bili-blanket was delivered and we had to keep Isla on the blue light. The doctor said if her levels didn't get better with that, she'd have to go under the regular bili-beds in the hospital. We checked again Sunday and her level had dropped from 17.2 to 13-something. Yeah!! We kept her on the blanket until this afternoon and tomorrow we have to have more blood drawn. Meanwhile, the improvement in her jaundice had made a HUGE difference in her staying awake, her eating, and being alert. This kid has been CHOWING for the past 24 hours! Hopefully we'll be able to stop the supplemental formula after we find out her new levels tomorrow.
Grandma was here most of the day today with us and let me take a nice long nap this afternoon. I was also able to take the dogs for a walk. While we were gone, Isla had a really messy diaper and peed as Grandma was changing her. While my mom cleaned up the mess, she laid Isla in her big crib--her first time in her crib!! Mom said that Isla really liked the bright colors on the sheet on her bed.
So here's where things start getting to be TMI so you might want to stop reading, but I want to record some things before I forget.
It seems really bizarre---a week ago we were talking about how this Tuesday we'd be talking about inducing and how breaking my water would be challenging because of the pressure of the extra fluid. A little after 8:00 Monday evening, the possibility of induction was erased as my water broke on its own. Luckily I was at home. In the bathroom. On the toilet. What better place to be??? (Although I did flash to some of those episodes of I Didn't Even Know I Was Pregnant where the girl always has her baby in the bathroom.) The excess fluid levels had me gushing and gushing. I kept checking to make sure I couldn't feel anything--reading about the possibility of cord prolapse had me paranoid. When we left for the hospital I had to do so with a bath towel in my pants. P put trash bags and towels in the seat of the car and everything was soaked after the 5 minute drive to the hospital.
I was only 1 1/2 cm dilated and was firm at the doctor's office Monday. I wasn't having contractions so once I got the hospital they started Pitocin. The first time they checked me, I was at 2 cm. A few hours later, I hadn't made much progress and I'd started to feel the contractions. Since it was obvious that the process was going to take awhile, I decided to have the epidural. Luckily I asked for it before I really felt like I needed it. The first stick hit a vein so they couldn't use it. With the second stick they started medication but I still felt things. A lot. Basically my pain had gone from 6-7 to 5-6. After awhile we realized that it wasn't going to the right side of my body. They had me change positions, tried to adjust the epidural and finally decided it had to be redone. The anesthesiologist tried this time rather than the CRNA. Oh, magic drugs!!! My pain didn't get any higher than 2 for the rest of my hospital stay. And even with 3 sticks in the spine, no spinal headache! The CRNA who had done the first 2 sticks kept apologizing. I told P to tell him the next time he sees him that I'd rather things worked out this way than for him to have gotten it the first try but ended up with a spinal headache.
I wish we could have waited to start the Foley until the epidural kicked in rather than having it while I could still feel things. Oh well, at least with the Foley I was able to stop using the bed pan--they wouldn't let me walk to the bathroom since my water broke.
Anyway, with the epidural in place they cranked up the Pitocin but things were still moving pretty slowly. Finally, around 11 Tuesday morning the nurse was going to place an internal contractions monitor, checked me and exclaimed "hot damn!" Apparently she was surprised that I had progressed to 10 cm and was fully effaced. She couldn't place an internal monitor to monitor my contractions so it was going to be up to me to identify when I needed to push. I was surprised by how much I had to concentrate to know a contraction was coming. There was so much activity in the room and I was the only one who knew when I was contracting and I was only feeling the contractions at a 1-2 pain level. They asked if I wanted the mirror down to watch. At first I said no but then decided I wanted to be able to watch.
It was 11:50 when the nurse told someone to call Dr. S to come to the hospital--they said they called earlier than usual because of the possibility of lunchtime traffic. We did some practice pushing before the doctor got there and in the mirror I could see the top of Isla's head. Once Dr. S got there she got gowned up and I had more contractions. During the second round of pushing after the doctor got there, she told me to stop pushing. In the same second I realized what she was saying and what I was supposed to do, I looked up into the mirror and saw Isla squirming. P said as she slid out, Dr. S caught her but had some juggling to do to hang on to her. They showed her to me, then took her across the room to clean her up and check her Agpars. I could see lots of dark curls, skinny little feet and coloring that reminded me of a truly Puerto Rican baby! When they weighed her, I was shocked to hear that our baby who was expected to weigh over 8 pounds the week before was 7 pounds 4 ounces. And so beautiful. I loved her before she was born, but the moment I saw her, that love increased exponentially.
I watched P taking pictures of her, looking at her as the nurses cleaned her up. I know my mom squeezed my hand a few times. Most of what was going on was a blur. I looked up to see the doctor remove the placenta--reminded me of taking the innards out of a turkey. Then she started stitching me up. Every one moved around the room so fast. One by one people left the room and left me, P, and our baby. Our family. I didn't know my heart could feel so full.
I'll post more pictures in a bit.
Grandma was here most of the day today with us and let me take a nice long nap this afternoon. I was also able to take the dogs for a walk. While we were gone, Isla had a really messy diaper and peed as Grandma was changing her. While my mom cleaned up the mess, she laid Isla in her big crib--her first time in her crib!! Mom said that Isla really liked the bright colors on the sheet on her bed.
So here's where things start getting to be TMI so you might want to stop reading, but I want to record some things before I forget.
It seems really bizarre---a week ago we were talking about how this Tuesday we'd be talking about inducing and how breaking my water would be challenging because of the pressure of the extra fluid. A little after 8:00 Monday evening, the possibility of induction was erased as my water broke on its own. Luckily I was at home. In the bathroom. On the toilet. What better place to be??? (Although I did flash to some of those episodes of I Didn't Even Know I Was Pregnant where the girl always has her baby in the bathroom.) The excess fluid levels had me gushing and gushing. I kept checking to make sure I couldn't feel anything--reading about the possibility of cord prolapse had me paranoid. When we left for the hospital I had to do so with a bath towel in my pants. P put trash bags and towels in the seat of the car and everything was soaked after the 5 minute drive to the hospital.
I was only 1 1/2 cm dilated and was firm at the doctor's office Monday. I wasn't having contractions so once I got the hospital they started Pitocin. The first time they checked me, I was at 2 cm. A few hours later, I hadn't made much progress and I'd started to feel the contractions. Since it was obvious that the process was going to take awhile, I decided to have the epidural. Luckily I asked for it before I really felt like I needed it. The first stick hit a vein so they couldn't use it. With the second stick they started medication but I still felt things. A lot. Basically my pain had gone from 6-7 to 5-6. After awhile we realized that it wasn't going to the right side of my body. They had me change positions, tried to adjust the epidural and finally decided it had to be redone. The anesthesiologist tried this time rather than the CRNA. Oh, magic drugs!!! My pain didn't get any higher than 2 for the rest of my hospital stay. And even with 3 sticks in the spine, no spinal headache! The CRNA who had done the first 2 sticks kept apologizing. I told P to tell him the next time he sees him that I'd rather things worked out this way than for him to have gotten it the first try but ended up with a spinal headache.
I wish we could have waited to start the Foley until the epidural kicked in rather than having it while I could still feel things. Oh well, at least with the Foley I was able to stop using the bed pan--they wouldn't let me walk to the bathroom since my water broke.
Anyway, with the epidural in place they cranked up the Pitocin but things were still moving pretty slowly. Finally, around 11 Tuesday morning the nurse was going to place an internal contractions monitor, checked me and exclaimed "hot damn!" Apparently she was surprised that I had progressed to 10 cm and was fully effaced. She couldn't place an internal monitor to monitor my contractions so it was going to be up to me to identify when I needed to push. I was surprised by how much I had to concentrate to know a contraction was coming. There was so much activity in the room and I was the only one who knew when I was contracting and I was only feeling the contractions at a 1-2 pain level. They asked if I wanted the mirror down to watch. At first I said no but then decided I wanted to be able to watch.
It was 11:50 when the nurse told someone to call Dr. S to come to the hospital--they said they called earlier than usual because of the possibility of lunchtime traffic. We did some practice pushing before the doctor got there and in the mirror I could see the top of Isla's head. Once Dr. S got there she got gowned up and I had more contractions. During the second round of pushing after the doctor got there, she told me to stop pushing. In the same second I realized what she was saying and what I was supposed to do, I looked up into the mirror and saw Isla squirming. P said as she slid out, Dr. S caught her but had some juggling to do to hang on to her. They showed her to me, then took her across the room to clean her up and check her Agpars. I could see lots of dark curls, skinny little feet and coloring that reminded me of a truly Puerto Rican baby! When they weighed her, I was shocked to hear that our baby who was expected to weigh over 8 pounds the week before was 7 pounds 4 ounces. And so beautiful. I loved her before she was born, but the moment I saw her, that love increased exponentially.
I watched P taking pictures of her, looking at her as the nurses cleaned her up. I know my mom squeezed my hand a few times. Most of what was going on was a blur. I looked up to see the doctor remove the placenta--reminded me of taking the innards out of a turkey. Then she started stitching me up. Every one moved around the room so fast. One by one people left the room and left me, P, and our baby. Our family. I didn't know my heart could feel so full.
I'll post more pictures in a bit.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
What a week!
So much to say, so little time to update. Hopefully I can find the time in the next few days to sit down and write out everything that happened Monday-Tuesday.
Happy Birthday Isla!!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Not much to update....
Still pregnant. Isla's been moving around a ton today. I've been so hungry the past few days and overall, so tired. Yesterday I had a burst of energy for about 2 hours, but that was all there was. P's been on call all weekend and has been gone a lot. Friday night he had to leave at midnight and as soon as he did, the strongest Braxton Hicks contractions I've had decided to show up. That didn't really relax me to go back to sleep. The BHs were kind of funny though---I felt everything contract and then Isla seemed to try to pop it back out like it was crowding her. Anyway in another 10 hours he'll have his call weekend for the month over with and we won't have to worry about it. I think he's on call on a Wednesday in the next week or two--hopefully that will go better than this weekend did.
I set up a page online to guess Isla's weight, length, date and time of birth. Go to www.expectnet.com/games/wheresisla to see the guesses and enter your own.
I set up a page online to guess Isla's weight, length, date and time of birth. Go to www.expectnet.com/games/wheresisla to see the guesses and enter your own.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
37 weeks....full term!
Isla measured 8 pounds, 5 ounces today on ultrasound. Even if the measurement is off by a pound, she's going to be a big baby if she waits 3 more weeks. The doctor covering the maternal fetal med clinic at the hospital today told me to come back in 2 weeks if I'm still pregnant and they'd check another ultrasound.
Meanwhile she was head down today--yeah!!!--and my amniotic fluid levels haven't risen anymore. He said they classify the levels as mild, moderate, or severe based on the measurement and I'm on the borderline between mild and severe. Um, wouldn't between mild and severe BE moderate? I think he misspoke. Anyway, this doctor was very reassuring that things are going to happen in whatever time frame they happen in and that there's absolutely no reason not to just let nature take its course and let Isla do whatever she decides to do. The fluid might be an issue, might not. Her size might be an issue, might not. She might flip back around, might not. No need to worry about any of it, just know that when things start happening, they'll deal with whatever comes up. There's no reason to assume I can't have a vaginal delivery just like Mother Nature designed things, but the overall goal is healthy mom, healthy baby and if she doesn't engage or she's breech again or her head is too big for my pelvis, a c-section is fine. Just focus on healthy mom, healthy baby.
He was also very reassuring that everything he'd seen on my ultrasound and past ultrasounds suggested no reason for the fluid and he's confident that I fall into the unknown reasons category and its frequently bigger babies that have the excess fluid.
So its time to hurry up and wait. Everything in the house is ready. P's had January 12th in his head for awhile. On December 14th I said it was going to be one more month and she'll come January 14th. Now that those dates are next week, I'm thinking more January 18th. I know its possible and all first time moms think they're not going to go to 40 weeks, but I really hope she doesn't end up over 10 pounds.
Overall I'm feeling much better than I was week and 2 weeks ago. Working 20 hours a week has helped with the fluid retention TREMENDOUSLY, allowed me to get much more rest, and just generally allowed me to decompress a bit. And I feel enough better during the 20 hours I'm at work that I'm probably getting more accomplished than I was in 40 hours before.
Oh, but I do hope she doesn't decide to come this weekend. P's on call all weekend. Watch him get called in for surgery at 3:00 Sunday morning and my water break at 4:00 and I have to track him down!
I haven't looked at the pics from today's ultrasound yet. If any of them are good, I'll post some after while. The tech was amazed by how much hair Isla has--apparently its thick and long.
More later...
Meanwhile she was head down today--yeah!!!--and my amniotic fluid levels haven't risen anymore. He said they classify the levels as mild, moderate, or severe based on the measurement and I'm on the borderline between mild and severe. Um, wouldn't between mild and severe BE moderate? I think he misspoke. Anyway, this doctor was very reassuring that things are going to happen in whatever time frame they happen in and that there's absolutely no reason not to just let nature take its course and let Isla do whatever she decides to do. The fluid might be an issue, might not. Her size might be an issue, might not. She might flip back around, might not. No need to worry about any of it, just know that when things start happening, they'll deal with whatever comes up. There's no reason to assume I can't have a vaginal delivery just like Mother Nature designed things, but the overall goal is healthy mom, healthy baby and if she doesn't engage or she's breech again or her head is too big for my pelvis, a c-section is fine. Just focus on healthy mom, healthy baby.
He was also very reassuring that everything he'd seen on my ultrasound and past ultrasounds suggested no reason for the fluid and he's confident that I fall into the unknown reasons category and its frequently bigger babies that have the excess fluid.
So its time to hurry up and wait. Everything in the house is ready. P's had January 12th in his head for awhile. On December 14th I said it was going to be one more month and she'll come January 14th. Now that those dates are next week, I'm thinking more January 18th. I know its possible and all first time moms think they're not going to go to 40 weeks, but I really hope she doesn't end up over 10 pounds.
Overall I'm feeling much better than I was week and 2 weeks ago. Working 20 hours a week has helped with the fluid retention TREMENDOUSLY, allowed me to get much more rest, and just generally allowed me to decompress a bit. And I feel enough better during the 20 hours I'm at work that I'm probably getting more accomplished than I was in 40 hours before.
Oh, but I do hope she doesn't decide to come this weekend. P's on call all weekend. Watch him get called in for surgery at 3:00 Sunday morning and my water break at 4:00 and I have to track him down!
I haven't looked at the pics from today's ultrasound yet. If any of them are good, I'll post some after while. The tech was amazed by how much hair Isla has--apparently its thick and long.
More later...
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Marcel Marceau trying to get out of a box....
That's what movements have felt like today. Isla is a mime stuck in a box--I feel her here, then here, then here...all over. She keeps trying to push her way out through my belly and I've told her she has to swim DOWN to find the exit. She's not listening. Not many Braxton Hicks this weekend so I'll be surprised if I'm more than 1 cm tomorrow. I haven't been nesting, but I've been feeling very much like a hermit. We went to Wal-Mart early Saturday morning. We got back at 7:30 yesterday morning and I didn't even step outside again until 7:30 this evening when ice cream called me to the gas station on the corner. Tomorrow I have to go back to work, then the chiropractor, then the doctor. And I have to stop by the bank. Hopefully I'll be back home by 3:00--I'm really liking the naps these days. They help so much since I don't sleep well at night.
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