Here we go again

All my positive pee sticks before were clearly positive by the time my period was due. I checked last week when I was 2 days late and the result looked really questionable. The next day it looked definitely negative. This afternoon, 8 days late, I peed on another stick and it was definitely positive. Light but positive. I took another after dinner (after drinking 19 glasses of water at dinner) and it was ambiguous again.

I'll call the doctor's office tomorrow. I called yesterday to ask if I could stop taking the progesterone and she wisely said to keep taking it. I suspect they get tired of hearing from me all the time.

WoW

Long time, no update. Guess it's a good thing no one is actually following this--they'd think I'd fallen off the edge of the earth.

I've been taking progesterone the past 2 weeks. Dr. H wanted me to start taking it a few days after ovulation, until my period starts. I started it around a week after I ovulated (just a timing thing) and now I'm a week late. Pee sticks are negative. Guess it's just the progesterone delaying things. I want to stop taking it so AF will come soon--I haven't have one since the last m/c and I really want to get it over with.

We went to see Alyson and Joe last week. Lots of fun! Friday morning we spent a frigid morning zipping about the lakeshore on Segways. Saturday Alyson and I went to IKEA and I dragged her around forever being indecisive. I ended up with a new tv stand, DVD shelves, a couple picture frames, and some organizing stuff. Saturday night our sweeties cooked a marvelous dinner for us. Sunday we drove home.

We have our flooring and are ready for Terry's spring break! In 2 weeks, Terry and P will be installing hardwood in our living room and hallway, and a new floor in the kitchen/dining room.

We are also well into making our vacations arrangements. I can't wait for May!

That's all for now!

Doctor's appointment

I'm not sure how I feel right now. I was extremely nervous yesterday and this morning. I did okay yesterday trying not to eat my anxiety, but I haven't done as well today. I still have some of my weekly flex points left though so it hasn't gotten too out of control. I think now I'm just sad.

I met with Dr. H today. There are some more tests he wants to order, but he wants to do some research on thyroid issues to make sure he doesn't miss a test that might tell us something so I don't have a script yet. The RN will call me. I also need to have either an HSG, which my doctor had talked to me about before and she can do, or a special ultrasound that he wasn't sure if they do down here but he can do in St. Charles. P and I will both have karotyping done to check for genetic issues. The HSG or ultrasound he said we should wait until after my second normal cycle to do. I think that's what hit me so hard today. I wasn't in a big hurry about trying again--certainly not compared to what I've been in the past. But being told not to try again for a couple months is hard. Waiting until March to even have this test, waiting until April to start trying again....it means that this can't happen this year. It's only February but I can't have a baby this year. I thought I was going to have one in 2008 but it can't happen until at least 2010.

And what if I got pregnant this month? I think I ovulated last week. I wasn't expecting to do so but I think it happened and timing would have been right to get pregnant again. I don't know if I'm excited about the possibility or just scared.

Since my homocysteine levels were normal, he doesn't think I need Lovenox next time, but does think the baby aspirin is a good idea. Anyway, he said even if we didn't have any tests or treatment or anything, we'd have a 50/50 chance on having a successful pregnancy based on what we know so far. There's certainly still hope.

So why am I feeling so hopeless tonight?

Not much to update...

There hasn't been a lot going on the past few weeks. After ten days covered in ice and snow, we can now see our driveway. When it melts around here, it does it beautifully--the temperature has been over 50 degrees the past few days and today is absolutely gorgeous. The pups and I took a nice long walk after church.

P and I are going to Chicago this week. Thursday is a holiday so P is taking off and we're both taking of Friday and going up to see Alyson and Joe for the weekend. I can't wait to get away for a couple of days.

I have my appointment with Dr. H tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous about what he might say, but P has agreed that we can try at least one more time regardless of what the doctor says about our chances. I feel like I have one more try in me and I'm not ready to give up yet.

I joined Weight Watchers again. Over the years, it's really been the only thing that's worked in helping me lose weight. And for whatever reason I can't just follow the plan on my own. My first weigh in was yesterday and I was down 5.6 poinds. P's counting points too and he's also lost about 5 points this week. I was especially proud of my loss because I had an emotional meltdown one day this week and really struggled with some anxious feelings that I typically feed. But I didn't--I even ended my week with points leftover!

Going to go read a mindless book--I'll update in a day or two with info on what happens with my doctor's appointment.