For some reason, I've been especially tired today. I've slept about 3 hours this evening and am trying to stay awake for the last hour of the year. Obviously no big holiday parties for me and Sprout tonight.
I had my first food scent aversion last night--something in a big of mixed veggies was quite offensive. I didn't get nauseous, but it was pretty bad. Today, the emotions have been a bit roller-coastery. I can't identify it. It's not really that I feel sad or irritable or upset. I guess lonely is the best way to describe it.
Earlier today I found my thoughts drifting forward in time, wishing the end of the first trimester were over. I stopped the thoughts and reminded myself that THIS is the day. Today I am pregnant. Rejoice. Be glad. Focus on today. Tomorrow will come later. It felt good to pull my thoughts back like that.
Going to try to finish the last couple of chapters of my book before the year ends. Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
First prenatal visit....
August 25th is the magic date. My first prenatal visit went well. My blood pressure was a little high, but I was chatting with Betsy when the nurse checked it and I wasn't paying attention to whether or not she used a large cuff. My BP always reads high if a small cuff is used on my huge arms. The doctor checked my uterus and said that if I wasn't sure about dates, she would have thought I was 8 weeks instead of 6. She said something about the possibility of twins. A few months ago I would have been thrilled about the idea of having twins, but like I told my doctor, at this point I'd rather just stick with the basic, no frills package. We'll see next Thursday at the ultrasound.
We set up our WiiFit last night. My Mii avatar ballooned up when when it weighed me. Great. Very nice. Hopefully following the USDA food pyramid guidelines will allow me to lose a few pounds in the early weeks of pregnancy. I want to be as healthy as possible through this pregnancy so I'm focusing on good nutrition.
More later....Happy New Year!
We set up our WiiFit last night. My Mii avatar ballooned up when when it weighed me. Great. Very nice. Hopefully following the USDA food pyramid guidelines will allow me to lose a few pounds in the early weeks of pregnancy. I want to be as healthy as possible through this pregnancy so I'm focusing on good nutrition.
More later....Happy New Year!
Friday, December 26, 2008
The day after Christmas....
My general theory is that typically, the earlier in the day you go to Wal-Mart, the better. That was not the case this morning. I actually forgot it was the day after Christmas until I saw the packed parking lot at 6:30 this morning. By the time I left at 7:30, it was much better. I didn't get many after Christmas bargains, just some table clothes for me and Mom and a couple of things for the gift stash.
Christmas was fairly relaxed. I made breakfast for Mom, Pop, and Mary, we helped people from church deliver Buffalo Wild Wings to people who had to work, and we went to see Marley and Me--it was good, but it had been a long time since I cried like that during a movie.
Yesterday P said something about buying a pregnancy test to see how quickly it turned positive to make sure I'm really pregnant. I had an extra so it took it yesterday afternoon. I'd actually already gone to the bathroom and then thought about it, so it was just a few extra little tinkles--definitely not holding it in a stream for 10 seconds. As the wetness crossed the wick, the test line was IMMEDIATELY pink--before it even got to the control line. AND the test line was darker than the control line. P was on the phone so I stuck the test in my pocket to show him later. Then I forgot and left it in my pocket. I went to the movies with a pregnancy test in one pocket and a candy cane in the other. I threw my beloved pee stick away in front of the movie theater.
I'm staying really tired/sleepy, having a lot of headaches, been really moody, and my back was hurting Wednesday at work, but no other symptoms yet. I know it sounds weird, but I'm hoping for some good old fashioned morning sickness soon. That will be evidence that everything is progressing as it should. Last time things were fine until the morning sickness ended. I know people think it's weird to WANT morning sickness, but I've talked to a couple of friends who have been through miscarriages and they understand.
I'll probably tell Alyson and Todd about Sprout this weekend just so I can tell them in person. I'm not sure though. I'm really hesitant to tell people--I can't handle any negativity or suggestions that this won't work. When I told Terry last weekend he asked if I'd be able to handle it if it doesn't work. I know he was only asking because he cares about me, but that question hurt me terribly. Do people truly not realize that I know more than ANYONE what the possibilities are at this point? And do I have any choice but to handle it if something happens to Sprout? I HAVE to be confident that Sprout will be fine. I can't dwell on the what-ifs. I can't live in fear or pessimism. Only a handful of people know right now and I like it that way. P said he'll be ready to tell people once we have an ultrasound, but I think I'd still like to keep it to only close friends/family even at that point. We can make the grand annoucement to everyone when I start showing or we find out the baby's sex. Or after the kid is here. Whichever.
Tuesday is my first prenatal visit. I have a few questions for the doctor but since I've been through this first visit thing before, I know what to expect. P can't go with me--he's booked with patients who want to be seen before the end of the year because they've met their deductible. I'm fine going by myself. He'll be there for the ultrasound--hopefully she's planning on scheduling one soon. She had said I'd have an early one, then start the injections. Since we've already started the injections, I don't know if she'll want to schedule an early one. I'd like to have one soon, but I think I'll probably more anxious about it in about 3 weeks to make sure Sprout makes it longer than the last one did so maybe waiting until then would be better. That's on my list to talk to her about.
Right now, I'm 5 weeks, 2 days. Further than I made it with either of the first 2. Today I am pregnant and I rejoice.
Now, it's naptime.
Christmas was fairly relaxed. I made breakfast for Mom, Pop, and Mary, we helped people from church deliver Buffalo Wild Wings to people who had to work, and we went to see Marley and Me--it was good, but it had been a long time since I cried like that during a movie.
Yesterday P said something about buying a pregnancy test to see how quickly it turned positive to make sure I'm really pregnant. I had an extra so it took it yesterday afternoon. I'd actually already gone to the bathroom and then thought about it, so it was just a few extra little tinkles--definitely not holding it in a stream for 10 seconds. As the wetness crossed the wick, the test line was IMMEDIATELY pink--before it even got to the control line. AND the test line was darker than the control line. P was on the phone so I stuck the test in my pocket to show him later. Then I forgot and left it in my pocket. I went to the movies with a pregnancy test in one pocket and a candy cane in the other. I threw my beloved pee stick away in front of the movie theater.
I'm staying really tired/sleepy, having a lot of headaches, been really moody, and my back was hurting Wednesday at work, but no other symptoms yet. I know it sounds weird, but I'm hoping for some good old fashioned morning sickness soon. That will be evidence that everything is progressing as it should. Last time things were fine until the morning sickness ended. I know people think it's weird to WANT morning sickness, but I've talked to a couple of friends who have been through miscarriages and they understand.
I'll probably tell Alyson and Todd about Sprout this weekend just so I can tell them in person. I'm not sure though. I'm really hesitant to tell people--I can't handle any negativity or suggestions that this won't work. When I told Terry last weekend he asked if I'd be able to handle it if it doesn't work. I know he was only asking because he cares about me, but that question hurt me terribly. Do people truly not realize that I know more than ANYONE what the possibilities are at this point? And do I have any choice but to handle it if something happens to Sprout? I HAVE to be confident that Sprout will be fine. I can't dwell on the what-ifs. I can't live in fear or pessimism. Only a handful of people know right now and I like it that way. P said he'll be ready to tell people once we have an ultrasound, but I think I'd still like to keep it to only close friends/family even at that point. We can make the grand annoucement to everyone when I start showing or we find out the baby's sex. Or after the kid is here. Whichever.
Tuesday is my first prenatal visit. I have a few questions for the doctor but since I've been through this first visit thing before, I know what to expect. P can't go with me--he's booked with patients who want to be seen before the end of the year because they've met their deductible. I'm fine going by myself. He'll be there for the ultrasound--hopefully she's planning on scheduling one soon. She had said I'd have an early one, then start the injections. Since we've already started the injections, I don't know if she'll want to schedule an early one. I'd like to have one soon, but I think I'll probably more anxious about it in about 3 weeks to make sure Sprout makes it longer than the last one did so maybe waiting until then would be better. That's on my list to talk to her about.
Right now, I'm 5 weeks, 2 days. Further than I made it with either of the first 2. Today I am pregnant and I rejoice.
Now, it's naptime.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas!
We have our picture taken each year in front of the tree before going to church on Christmas Eve. I like last year's picture better (the one in my profile). We tried getting the pups to cooperate with the picture this year but they weren't terribly cooperative and I wanted to crop the lower portion of the picture anyway. Hopefully a four month old Sprout will be in next year's photo.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Not a creature was stirring....
According to the NORAD official tracking website: http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.html, Santa is in Newfoundland. Looks like he'll be here in a few hours.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Two long days.....
This is the day the Lord has made....I will rejoice and be tired in it.
Yesterday I worked, took the puppies for a long walk in the wonderful 50 degree December afternoon, picked up food packages from Angel Food Ministries for a family we adopted at work, sorted that food and got needed items in the freezer, took a bath, and got ready for P's office Christmas party. I think I drifted off during a video presentation at the party--all the sudden I was aware of everybody laughing and I wasn't sure at what. I was also cold during the entire party--not sure why on that one. The party was fun, but keeping me out to 10:00 is past my bedtime these days. I came home and went straight to bed.
Bumper got restless during the night. I ended up getting up at 3:30 and making the salad I needed to make for the family Christmas event in Jonesboro today. Good thing--I didn't wake back up until around 6:45 and my parents were supposed to pick us up around 7:00. My dad was sick and mom was running late so we had plenty of time to get ready and get everything we needed to take together.
The family Christmas was fun. Terry, Christina, and I were the only grandkids there. Jonathan and Christina's girls (and Sprout!) were the only great-grandkids there. Grandpa is always so hard to buy for, but when were were at his house in July, P noticed that Grandpa's flag was looking pretty worn so we got him a replacement. He really seemed to like it.
I had major warm and fuzzies today--I asked the family to forego our traditional generic gift exchange and instead adopt a family. Everyone really game through--we adopted a single mom and her 2 little girls. Everyone gets new pajamas for Christmas. The girls each get a stuffed animal, a princess chair, and a hat box FULL of goodies that Isabella and Alexandra picked out for them. The mom gets a sweatsuit, a jacket, scarf, gloves, a small digital camera, and a bag of goodies that were things from my gift closet--some bath wash, a notebook, some pens, some bath sponges. There are also gift cards and money for a thrift store credit. I'll drop the items off Monday so they can be delivered to the family in time.
I was hoping to do nothing tomorrow. Unfortunately, "nothing" doesn't mean nothing. Church, laundry, walking the dogs, the gym, and making a grocery list for Christmas are my nothing. But compared to the past two days, that sounds wonderfully relaxing.
No new symptoms. I'm tired, but I actually did better than I expected today. I didn't sleep in the car at all, although I only drove halfway home cause I was getting pretty tired. And I'm sure once I stop typing and stare at the television for 5 minutes, I'll be asleep. I expect and hope that morning sickness will be starting up in another week or so--yes, I hope for morning sickness!
Night, night...
Yesterday I worked, took the puppies for a long walk in the wonderful 50 degree December afternoon, picked up food packages from Angel Food Ministries for a family we adopted at work, sorted that food and got needed items in the freezer, took a bath, and got ready for P's office Christmas party. I think I drifted off during a video presentation at the party--all the sudden I was aware of everybody laughing and I wasn't sure at what. I was also cold during the entire party--not sure why on that one. The party was fun, but keeping me out to 10:00 is past my bedtime these days. I came home and went straight to bed.
Bumper got restless during the night. I ended up getting up at 3:30 and making the salad I needed to make for the family Christmas event in Jonesboro today. Good thing--I didn't wake back up until around 6:45 and my parents were supposed to pick us up around 7:00. My dad was sick and mom was running late so we had plenty of time to get ready and get everything we needed to take together.
The family Christmas was fun. Terry, Christina, and I were the only grandkids there. Jonathan and Christina's girls (and Sprout!) were the only great-grandkids there. Grandpa is always so hard to buy for, but when were were at his house in July, P noticed that Grandpa's flag was looking pretty worn so we got him a replacement. He really seemed to like it.
I had major warm and fuzzies today--I asked the family to forego our traditional generic gift exchange and instead adopt a family. Everyone really game through--we adopted a single mom and her 2 little girls. Everyone gets new pajamas for Christmas. The girls each get a stuffed animal, a princess chair, and a hat box FULL of goodies that Isabella and Alexandra picked out for them. The mom gets a sweatsuit, a jacket, scarf, gloves, a small digital camera, and a bag of goodies that were things from my gift closet--some bath wash, a notebook, some pens, some bath sponges. There are also gift cards and money for a thrift store credit. I'll drop the items off Monday so they can be delivered to the family in time.
I was hoping to do nothing tomorrow. Unfortunately, "nothing" doesn't mean nothing. Church, laundry, walking the dogs, the gym, and making a grocery list for Christmas are my nothing. But compared to the past two days, that sounds wonderfully relaxing.
No new symptoms. I'm tired, but I actually did better than I expected today. I didn't sleep in the car at all, although I only drove halfway home cause I was getting pretty tired. And I'm sure once I stop typing and stare at the television for 5 minutes, I'll be asleep. I expect and hope that morning sickness will be starting up in another week or so--yes, I hope for morning sickness!
Night, night...
Friday, December 19, 2008
Injection #2
I did today's injection myself. I iced it first and pinched the flab a bit as I injected--today's spot doesn't look nearly as bad as yesterday's does. I was trying to go slowly though and P told me not to. Definitely right on that one--jab it in there quickly! I did inject slowly once I got the needle in though--I should have just plunged it in there quickly too. I think it burned worse going in today. I'll have plenty of time to learn the best, least painful way of doing this.
Kelly and I went to see Grace at lunch. She is so precious and sweet. And she's such a lucky girl--she has a great Mommy and Daddy. Hopefully she and Sprout will be good friends.
Kelly and I went to see Grace at lunch. She is so precious and sweet. And she's such a lucky girl--she has a great Mommy and Daddy. Hopefully she and Sprout will be good friends.
A new friend...
Our friends the Bs had their baby yesterday. I hope to see Grace soon. I'm so excited for them! They posted pictures online last night (by "they" I assume it was new Daddy). Grace is beautiful.
Today, I focus on today. The next couple of days are going to be long and tiring. After work today I have to go pick up an Angel Food box that I ordered for the family we adopted for Christmas at work. Tonight is P's Christmas party and tomorrow is the extended family to-do with my dad's family. I'm going to Wal-Mart before work to pick up what I need to make my new favorite salad. I'll have to make it tomorrow morning. I've also made Oreo Balls to take. It's going to be a busy, tiring weekend. But today, I focus on today.
My first injection went well--it stung a bit for about 20 or 30 minutes. By mid-morning it was pretty shades of blue and purple. Now it's a dark purple, black.
Take care,
l
Today, I focus on today. The next couple of days are going to be long and tiring. After work today I have to go pick up an Angel Food box that I ordered for the family we adopted for Christmas at work. Tonight is P's Christmas party and tomorrow is the extended family to-do with my dad's family. I'm going to Wal-Mart before work to pick up what I need to make my new favorite salad. I'll have to make it tomorrow morning. I've also made Oreo Balls to take. It's going to be a busy, tiring weekend. But today, I focus on today.
My first injection went well--it stung a bit for about 20 or 30 minutes. By mid-morning it was pretty shades of blue and purple. Now it's a dark purple, black.
Take care,
l
Thursday, December 18, 2008
THIS is the day....
I've been very encouraged and comforted by the current series at church...Unopened Gifts.
When I used to go to church sporadically I was always amazed that the message was exactly what I needed to hear. When I first started going regularly, the same was true. Over time that became less true. I was learning during church and parts of the message would seem to be aimed to me, but it has been awhile that a whole message really seemed to be targeting me. The first week of this series was on gratitude and it was exactly what I needed to hear. That whole sermon was aimed right. at. me. Gratitude--learning to be thankful for imperfect gifts and flawed people. Looking at what you have instead of what you do not. Praising God for the blessings that surround us.
I go through spurts with gratitude. At times since the last miscarriage, I've been overwhelmed by how lucky I am to be surrounded by the family and friends that I have in my life. Other times I seem to forget that and focus on the flaws and imperfections. That seems to have been a real challenge lately. Gotta stop doing that. Ron mentioned a statement that CS Lewis made about there being a fine line between pretending to be thankful and being thankful. Fake it until you make it. Ron challenged us to write down 5 postives in our lives at the end of each day this week. Happy Thoughts!!! I'd already brought back Happy Thoughts just a few days before and here was an endorsement about the importance of them. Wow, sometimes the messages about what we need to do in our lives are subtle and sometimes they just hit you up the side of the head from all directions. I consider myself hit.
The second week of the series was about being thankful for work--how important work is to God and how we should rejoice in the work we do. This one is hard for me. I don't dislike my job and I'm grateful to have a pretty secure job while the economy is falling apart, but most of the time I'm a long way from seeing my job as a gift. Gotta work on that one.
Problems was the topic of the third week. Honestly, I had to go back and look up this one. Apparently it didn't make as much of an impression on me. I remember Daniel discussing moles. Sometime when its not 2:47 am, I'll listen to the sermon again on the web. Maybe I don't remember much about this discussion because that was the weekend our garage door broke. Was I too wrapped up in that problem of ours to appreciate the significance of the sermon? I'm not sure. I remember one of my happy thoughts the next day was about being thankful for the broken garage door because that meant I had a garage and I know my garage is a lot more shelter than some people are blessed with. When we can look at our problems and be thankful for them, it truly allows us to experience gratitude in other areas of our life.
This past week was laughter. Just what I needed to hear. Again. THIS is the day the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24. This verse seems to say different things, depending on which word you emphasize. For now, I need to emphasize that first word. As this pregnancy progresses, each day I will remind myself that THIS is the day. I will try not to worry about other days. I will try not to worry about "what ifs." I will rejoice in THIS day. One of P's favorite Bible verses is Matthew 6:34 So never worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (ISV). Its hard to think about tomorrow and plan for the future without worry and at first I had a hard time with this verse (ok, so I still have a hard time with not worrying!)--I thought it was saying not to think about tomorrow. And hey, I'm a planner. Not thinking about tomorrow is not in my genetic code. But when I consider the verse from Matthew along with THIS is the day... it makes more sense. Kinda cool how all that Biblical stuff relates back to itself, huh?
This series has been really important to me. I hope it would have been regardless of what was going on with our lives right now--I'm sure I would have heard different things in the message if my life was different right now. But the timing of what I heard could not have been more perfect.
This is the day. I am pregnant. My HCG levels doubled between Monday and Wednesday. I have progesterone headaches, can't stay awake past 7 pm, and am up at 3 am with my mind racing. When a reasonable time of morning comes and the day truly begins, I start Lovenox injections. I am so grateful. This is the day the Lord as made. I rejoice and am glad.
Good night--
When I used to go to church sporadically I was always amazed that the message was exactly what I needed to hear. When I first started going regularly, the same was true. Over time that became less true. I was learning during church and parts of the message would seem to be aimed to me, but it has been awhile that a whole message really seemed to be targeting me. The first week of this series was on gratitude and it was exactly what I needed to hear. That whole sermon was aimed right. at. me. Gratitude--learning to be thankful for imperfect gifts and flawed people. Looking at what you have instead of what you do not. Praising God for the blessings that surround us.
I go through spurts with gratitude. At times since the last miscarriage, I've been overwhelmed by how lucky I am to be surrounded by the family and friends that I have in my life. Other times I seem to forget that and focus on the flaws and imperfections. That seems to have been a real challenge lately. Gotta stop doing that. Ron mentioned a statement that CS Lewis made about there being a fine line between pretending to be thankful and being thankful. Fake it until you make it. Ron challenged us to write down 5 postives in our lives at the end of each day this week. Happy Thoughts!!! I'd already brought back Happy Thoughts just a few days before and here was an endorsement about the importance of them. Wow, sometimes the messages about what we need to do in our lives are subtle and sometimes they just hit you up the side of the head from all directions. I consider myself hit.
The second week of the series was about being thankful for work--how important work is to God and how we should rejoice in the work we do. This one is hard for me. I don't dislike my job and I'm grateful to have a pretty secure job while the economy is falling apart, but most of the time I'm a long way from seeing my job as a gift. Gotta work on that one.
Problems was the topic of the third week. Honestly, I had to go back and look up this one. Apparently it didn't make as much of an impression on me. I remember Daniel discussing moles. Sometime when its not 2:47 am, I'll listen to the sermon again on the web. Maybe I don't remember much about this discussion because that was the weekend our garage door broke. Was I too wrapped up in that problem of ours to appreciate the significance of the sermon? I'm not sure. I remember one of my happy thoughts the next day was about being thankful for the broken garage door because that meant I had a garage and I know my garage is a lot more shelter than some people are blessed with. When we can look at our problems and be thankful for them, it truly allows us to experience gratitude in other areas of our life.
This past week was laughter. Just what I needed to hear. Again. THIS is the day the Lord hath made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24. This verse seems to say different things, depending on which word you emphasize. For now, I need to emphasize that first word. As this pregnancy progresses, each day I will remind myself that THIS is the day. I will try not to worry about other days. I will try not to worry about "what ifs." I will rejoice in THIS day. One of P's favorite Bible verses is Matthew 6:34 So never worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (ISV). Its hard to think about tomorrow and plan for the future without worry and at first I had a hard time with this verse (ok, so I still have a hard time with not worrying!)--I thought it was saying not to think about tomorrow. And hey, I'm a planner. Not thinking about tomorrow is not in my genetic code. But when I consider the verse from Matthew along with THIS is the day... it makes more sense. Kinda cool how all that Biblical stuff relates back to itself, huh?
This series has been really important to me. I hope it would have been regardless of what was going on with our lives right now--I'm sure I would have heard different things in the message if my life was different right now. But the timing of what I heard could not have been more perfect.
This is the day. I am pregnant. My HCG levels doubled between Monday and Wednesday. I have progesterone headaches, can't stay awake past 7 pm, and am up at 3 am with my mind racing. When a reasonable time of morning comes and the day truly begins, I start Lovenox injections. I am so grateful. This is the day the Lord as made. I rejoice and am glad.
Good night--
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Maybe....
I took a test this morning first thing. Maybe a line. I couldn't really tell. I went back to bed. I looked at the test again when I got back up and there was definitely a line there. I don't know if it showed up in the appropriate time frame or not though. The line doesn't count if it doesn't show up within the first ten minutes. P's going to buy another test today and I'll try again in the morning. Who am I kidding? I'll try again with another cheap test as soon as I need to pee again!!
I pray I am and I pray that this little sprout sticks and grows!
I pray I am and I pray that this little sprout sticks and grows!
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