Thursday, August 5, 2010

I'm still here...

This baby girl is a handful to keep up with...and she’s not even crawling yet! She’s trying though. She’s really good at scooting and creeping. Next weekend is Isla Proofing the House Weekend. She has both bottom front teeth and is working on the top ones. She was Princess Fussy Pants last weekend but has been in a better mood the last day or so. Last night I could feel a nub on top even though you can’t see it yet.

I got a new laptop for my birthday/anniversary so I need to install my camera software and organize some pictures this weekend. I’ll upload some new ones then. I have a cute video I’ll try to get uploaded also.

I’m taking off Friday so it’s a 3 day weekend! J is going to hang out with us tomorrow afternoon and spend the night tomorrow night. He’s 8 and SO good with his little cousin. I was worried that he’d be jealous or have a hard time adjusting because this is the first time he’s really had to share Grandma’s attention but there was no reason to be concerned. He loves playing big brother and she adores him. We’re going to see Ramona and Beezus tomorrow afternoon. I loved those books when I was a kid. He hasn’t read them but wants to see the movie. The 3 of us have seen a few movies this summer—Isla does really well. She’ll watch about half the movie, take a bottle, then go to sleep.

One thing I’ve been trying to do lately is keep a journal of letters for Isla. I’ve only been able manage to write a few and I feel like I’m saying the same things over and over. I hope someday she’ll understand how my day automatically brightens whenever I see her and how I see pure joy on my mom’s face whenever she picks Isla up and how much her Daddy absolutely adores her. But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to convey to her how much I love her. Maybe it’s something she won’t be able to understand unless some day she’s blessed with her own little girl.

I’m writing this in the early hours of the morning. I’ve been thinking about all the little things no one ever told me. Sure, I knew the mommy job was a good gig even though it’s a lot of work. But I find joy in so many little things now that I never would have dreamt of.

Like the way it feels when she cuddles up against my chest in her dimly lit room at 3:00 in the morning. Everything so quiet and peaceful—like everyone else in the world is asleep but us. I love wearing a nightgown with a wide, open neck instead of my old t-shirts so I can feel her snuggle against my skin.

And the way she smells right after a bath. The smell of HER mixed with the scent of the lotion I rub on her arms and legs mixed with the lingering aroma of her shampoo clinging to those beautiful curls.

And how if she starts crying at 2:00 in the morning, part of me wants to just roll over and sleep but a bigger part of me smiles because it means I get to spend some hidden time with my baby girl. The more active she gets during the day, the more I love that time when she’s sleepy and drowsy and wants to cuddle.

And how much I love rocking her to sleep and just holding her. Even though I know she needs to learn how to soothe herself and put herself to sleep, it’s hard to let her do it sometimes. Sometimes I have to selfishly just sit and rock her and take all of her in. I know it won’t be long when she’s too big for mommy to rock her to sleep.

And how I feel warm and smiley inside those times when she just wants mommy and no one else will do. I know it won’t last but for now, Mommy is her favorite. If no one else can fix things, mommy can.

And how she’ll stick her right hand under my arm when she’s taking a bottle. As she moves her fingers, it seems like she’s trying to tickle me.

And the way she giggles when I kiss her cheeks.

And how she grins whenever she sneezes twice. Doesn’t always happen if she just sneezes once, but if she sneezes twice, she gets the biggest smile on her face and mommy says “those are so funny!”

And how mommy loves that she’s active, even when it means that it takes twice as long to change a diaper. I told her daddy when she was only a few days old that the way she squirmed on the changing table then, it was obvious that she was going to be a handful at 6 months. It’s 6 months later and you have to give her something to play with when you’re trying to change her diaper. Even then she flips over onto her tummy and tries to get away half the time. Mommy’s changed some diapers with her on her tummy but for some reason, she tends to pee when I’m doing that.

And how she raspberries me when I’m trying to clean her teeth and gums.

And how much she loves when we clap or cheer “Yay Isla!”

And, and, and.....I could go on and on. I’m sure my next few posts will be ones I remember and want to add. I just can’t believe how much of my life is wrapped up in that little girl.

Friday is P and my 3rd anniversary. That day 3 years ago will always be one of my perfect days. So peaceful and relaxing. I love you honey.

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