My general theory is that typically, the earlier in the day you go to Wal-Mart, the better. That was not the case this morning. I actually forgot it was the day after Christmas until I saw the packed parking lot at 6:30 this morning. By the time I left at 7:30, it was much better. I didn't get many after Christmas bargains, just some table clothes for me and Mom and a couple of things for the gift stash.
Christmas was fairly relaxed. I made breakfast for Mom, Pop, and Mary, we helped people from church deliver Buffalo Wild Wings to people who had to work, and we went to see Marley and Me--it was good, but it had been a long time since I cried like that during a movie.
Yesterday P said something about buying a pregnancy test to see how quickly it turned positive to make sure I'm really pregnant. I had an extra so it took it yesterday afternoon. I'd actually already gone to the bathroom and then thought about it, so it was just a few extra little tinkles--definitely not holding it in a stream for 10 seconds. As the wetness crossed the wick, the test line was IMMEDIATELY pink--before it even got to the control line. AND the test line was darker than the control line. P was on the phone so I stuck the test in my pocket to show him later. Then I forgot and left it in my pocket. I went to the movies with a pregnancy test in one pocket and a candy cane in the other. I threw my beloved pee stick away in front of the movie theater.
I'm staying really tired/sleepy, having a lot of headaches, been really moody, and my back was hurting Wednesday at work, but no other symptoms yet. I know it sounds weird, but I'm hoping for some good old fashioned morning sickness soon. That will be evidence that everything is progressing as it should. Last time things were fine until the morning sickness ended. I know people think it's weird to WANT morning sickness, but I've talked to a couple of friends who have been through miscarriages and they understand.
I'll probably tell Alyson and Todd about Sprout this weekend just so I can tell them in person. I'm not sure though. I'm really hesitant to tell people--I can't handle any negativity or suggestions that this won't work. When I told Terry last weekend he asked if I'd be able to handle it if it doesn't work. I know he was only asking because he cares about me, but that question hurt me terribly. Do people truly not realize that I know more than ANYONE what the possibilities are at this point? And do I have any choice but to handle it if something happens to Sprout? I HAVE to be confident that Sprout will be fine. I can't dwell on the what-ifs. I can't live in fear or pessimism. Only a handful of people know right now and I like it that way. P said he'll be ready to tell people once we have an ultrasound, but I think I'd still like to keep it to only close friends/family even at that point. We can make the grand annoucement to everyone when I start showing or we find out the baby's sex. Or after the kid is here. Whichever.
Tuesday is my first prenatal visit. I have a few questions for the doctor but since I've been through this first visit thing before, I know what to expect. P can't go with me--he's booked with patients who want to be seen before the end of the year because they've met their deductible. I'm fine going by myself. He'll be there for the ultrasound--hopefully she's planning on scheduling one soon. She had said I'd have an early one, then start the injections. Since we've already started the injections, I don't know if she'll want to schedule an early one. I'd like to have one soon, but I think I'll probably more anxious about it in about 3 weeks to make sure Sprout makes it longer than the last one did so maybe waiting until then would be better. That's on my list to talk to her about.
Right now, I'm 5 weeks, 2 days. Further than I made it with either of the first 2. Today I am pregnant and I rejoice.
Now, it's naptime.
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