Today is one of those personal milestone days. It was the equivalent of this day last summer when I started spotting and we had the devastating ultrasound. I've been feeling so much more confident this time around, but today has been a rough day for that confidence. My grandma called this morning and was telling me about some things she bought for Rico and it was really hard to hear--I was just too scared this morning to imagine bringing home a bunch of baby stuff.
I'm feeling better this afternoon though. The doppler we ordered came several days ago but we hadn't had any luck with it. The instructions say its not strong enough to pick up anything before 12 weeks and since I've continued to be pretty sick, I really wasn't too concerned. But today I needed it to work and it did. Talk about your answered prayers. P was able to find Rico and we could hear the heartbeat loud and clear--well, as long as I held my breath! Just the reassurance I needed today. It was like hearing God talk to us.
I also think I'm ready to unlock my blog. So far, only a couple people have had access to it. I've decided against going back and editing some of the older posts. One, I can't relive the pain reading them would bring right now. Two, the pain was too real to just erase the record of it. So if you stumble across this blog and want to read about my journey for the past several months, it's here in black and write.
One thing that has surprised me on my journey is how beneficial it has been to share my experiences with someone going through her own version of that pain. I pray that I and she never have to experience that pain again.
More later...Happy 4th.
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